PENIS

Our workers live to grow the perfect avocados. They also are avocados. The staplers are outsourced to sweat shops in china. As for our workers, their motto goes as such, "We shave em', we crave em', we beat them into guacamole, and we don't get paid." 

TRADITIONAL WAY OF REAPING SOULS

"Co-producer Jon here, and I'm here to tell you our traditional and iconic forms of taking our items off the fields of the world, and putting them on your glass plate just waiting to have a snag."

"So, here's the secret to making the quality avocados. First off, we grab any nearby uranium, and maybe some Avocados with legs and buff arms to go out and grab us any shiny, green avocados. They have mutated limbs for grabbing things at a distance."

"Then we grab a giant vase that spews guacamole gas, and throw the uranium in with the Avos. We have Ivan mix them with a giant blender made of lettuce, and go from there."

"But just remember, the needs of our workers always come first. If they need to die because they're not doing enough work, we kill em."